Chosen and ranked by a combination of the following categories: respect demanded and received from society, perceived personality, work ethic, passion for his craft, charisma+swagga, premium carrier of his Man Card but still appreciates/respects women, all-around Bad Ass. Subject to change.
10. Matt Damon
9. Clive Owen + Peter Sarsgaard (tie)
8. Matthew Bellamy
7. David Beckham
6. Jay-Z
5. James Franco
4. Johnny Depp
3. Michael Turner (I want to marry him)
2. Thom Yorke
1. Denzel Washington. My #1, forever and for always.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
wishful thinking
I wish... I could visit outer space.
I wish... I could have been on the USC drumline that performed with Radiohead at the Grammys.
I wish... I could be a yoga instructor so I could actually practice yoga every day.
I wish... I could be a Manning brother.
I wish... I could see a Falcons Superbowl in my lifetime.
I wish... I could relive Summer 2009. Best summer of my life.
I wish... I could have been on the USC drumline that performed with Radiohead at the Grammys.
I wish... I could be a yoga instructor so I could actually practice yoga every day.
I wish... I could be a Manning brother.
I wish... I could see a Falcons Superbowl in my lifetime.
I wish... I could relive Summer 2009. Best summer of my life.
mystery solved
I have been on Thanksgiving break for a week now, and I've noticed that I have lost some weight during this time. I couldn't figure out how and why I could possibly be losing weight during the most gluttonous holiday of the year. I'm not even working out, let alone watching what I eat.
It finally dawned on me. For every single day of break, I have been sleeping at 2am~3am and sleeping in until 2pm~4pm, which leaves room to eat only one meal per day. HA! Oh, laziness.
It finally dawned on me. For every single day of break, I have been sleeping at 2am~3am and sleeping in until 2pm~4pm, which leaves room to eat only one meal per day. HA! Oh, laziness.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I'm thankful for
Family
my sister
my bestie
my sister-in-law
my wonderful roomies
my wonderful adventures that i was more than blessed to have..21 has been the best year of my very short life thus far. Cheers to many more adventures to come.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Let go
As human beings, why are we so crippled by fear of losing a person that is clearly not meant to be with you?
Attachment is a dangerous thing, especially when it involves people. I never really understood why it was so hard to let go of a person. The hope of a new day, I understand. But the hope of a better day? Unrealistic. When it comes to dysfunctional relationships, the notion that breaking up is impossible because one is too attached to the other person...is juvenile, in my opinion. To me, it signifies that you're completely blinded by your own selfish motives, your own needs, your own desires, your emotions. You don't want to let go of that person because you're scared of the mere thought of being alone. You're terrified of the heartache, the tears, the emptiness. You're embarrassed that you failed at another relationship. You're afraid that this person may be "the one." You're jealous that the other person will move on faster than you. It's always about you.
Attachment is a dangerous thing, especially when it involves people. I never really understood why it was so hard to let go of a person. The hope of a new day, I understand. But the hope of a better day? Unrealistic. When it comes to dysfunctional relationships, the notion that breaking up is impossible because one is too attached to the other person...is juvenile, in my opinion. To me, it signifies that you're completely blinded by your own selfish motives, your own needs, your own desires, your emotions. You don't want to let go of that person because you're scared of the mere thought of being alone. You're terrified of the heartache, the tears, the emptiness. You're embarrassed that you failed at another relationship. You're afraid that this person may be "the one." You're jealous that the other person will move on faster than you. It's always about you.
Now, I'm not trying to be completely insensitive here. It's probably just my jaded side preaching because I am completely aware of how difficult it is to let go of a person who you were completely and deliciously in love with. And I am perfectly aware of how emotions can screw with logic and reason. But as I step away from my irrational feelings and observe life floating above myself, I cannot help but want to kick myself in the ass. How could I have been so foolish? When you're in the moment, deciding if it's the right decision to let go of a person, I understand that it's hard. It is so hard.
But. When it really comes down to it, I realize that I was completely incapable of making these decisions myself in the past. I was too wrapped up in the hope for a better day, for the changes that were never going to happen, for the path that was never going to be shared with another person. After going through a traumatic emotional experience, it has dawned on me that emotionally-charged gut instincts are usually wrong. Of course you want to make the relationship work, no matter how much in shambles it is. It could be beyond repair, like shattered glass, yet there you are, picking up each shard with bloodied fingers and a battered heart full of hope and desperation. Now I know better not to pick up pieces of broken glass; it is much softer to pick up pieces of a broken heart.
But. When it really comes down to it, I realize that I was completely incapable of making these decisions myself in the past. I was too wrapped up in the hope for a better day, for the changes that were never going to happen, for the path that was never going to be shared with another person. After going through a traumatic emotional experience, it has dawned on me that emotionally-charged gut instincts are usually wrong. Of course you want to make the relationship work, no matter how much in shambles it is. It could be beyond repair, like shattered glass, yet there you are, picking up each shard with bloodied fingers and a battered heart full of hope and desperation. Now I know better not to pick up pieces of broken glass; it is much softer to pick up pieces of a broken heart.
When the final blow is finally done and the dust settles, it's time to move on. But here is where I believe many people ultimately find their doom in intense attachment. The way you approach the moving on period is critical in how successful you are in completely letting go of a person. To me, the best and only way to approach this is complete detachment. Cutting the person out of your daily life. Of course you're going to think about the person occasionally, but does this really mean that you have to call the person the moment you think of them? No. It means you delete his/her number, email address, screen name, facebook, WHATEVER. CUT THEM OUT. I know it sounds harsh, but human beings are capable of this type of strength, I know this for a fact. Even though we are weak in the knees at the sight of love, we can truly surprise ourselves at how strong we can be when our bodies have been completely hollowed out by heartbreak. Alas, we are too scared to be strong.
Now, this "just-friends" option. Nope, doesn't work, at least in the first year of the break-up. Look at it this way. You are completely vulnerable, broken, and yearning for that person, or really, any other person that will fill that void. Continuing contact immediately after a break-up is just asking for a second chance at an inevitable failed attempt... there hasn't even been enough time for a person to change! It just picking at the scab, never giving it a chance to fully heal. Why would you even expect that the second go-round will be everything you wanted, and more? Getting back together is just asking for another break-up because you haven't truly gotten down to the basic reason as to why you broke up: he/she is not meant to be with you. You are not meant to be with him/her. Unless you can truly work out the reason and make a substantial CHANGE, then there is a chance. Unless you are ready and willing to completely TRUST the other person...and know that this relationship will not be anything like the first one. Hell, it shouldn't be because that relationship ended in a bust. Stop wishing for the good ole days because that is in the past. But this is where people have this silly expectation that it will be just like the good times...and are fiercely disappointed when that is certainly not the case. If there is one thing I've learned from my short list of experiences, it's this: MEN RARELY CHANGE. WOMEN RARELY FORGET (and forgive). It's just a recipe for disaster.
But come on. Why do we waste our times pining for the fairy tale ending with the beast instead of the prince? Why do we waste our time with someone who makes you habitually unhappy?
Why do we force love? Why do we rush love? Why do we hope for something that is not going to happen? Life is too damn short to be with someone that you're not supposed to be with. Life is too damn short to be unhappy and confused with a person. I don't believe in grossly dysfunctional attachments anymore. I don't believe in investing time and effort on a person that is not going to reciprocate the same amount of time and effort. I don't believe in giving second chances to cycles. Because when you do finally find that someone who you are meant to be with, you'll look back and wonder why the hell you wasted your time blubbering over what's-his-name. And that is the silver lining that I can believe in.
Now, this "just-friends" option. Nope, doesn't work, at least in the first year of the break-up. Look at it this way. You are completely vulnerable, broken, and yearning for that person, or really, any other person that will fill that void. Continuing contact immediately after a break-up is just asking for a second chance at an inevitable failed attempt... there hasn't even been enough time for a person to change! It just picking at the scab, never giving it a chance to fully heal. Why would you even expect that the second go-round will be everything you wanted, and more? Getting back together is just asking for another break-up because you haven't truly gotten down to the basic reason as to why you broke up: he/she is not meant to be with you. You are not meant to be with him/her. Unless you can truly work out the reason and make a substantial CHANGE, then there is a chance. Unless you are ready and willing to completely TRUST the other person...and know that this relationship will not be anything like the first one. Hell, it shouldn't be because that relationship ended in a bust. Stop wishing for the good ole days because that is in the past. But this is where people have this silly expectation that it will be just like the good times...and are fiercely disappointed when that is certainly not the case. If there is one thing I've learned from my short list of experiences, it's this: MEN RARELY CHANGE. WOMEN RARELY FORGET (and forgive). It's just a recipe for disaster.
But come on. Why do we waste our times pining for the fairy tale ending with the beast instead of the prince? Why do we waste our time with someone who makes you habitually unhappy?
Why do we force love? Why do we rush love? Why do we hope for something that is not going to happen? Life is too damn short to be with someone that you're not supposed to be with. Life is too damn short to be unhappy and confused with a person. I don't believe in grossly dysfunctional attachments anymore. I don't believe in investing time and effort on a person that is not going to reciprocate the same amount of time and effort. I don't believe in giving second chances to cycles. Because when you do finally find that someone who you are meant to be with, you'll look back and wonder why the hell you wasted your time blubbering over what's-his-name. And that is the silver lining that I can believe in.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
let the memory-capturing begin.
I finally got my hands on a lomo camera! It's a vintage-y, brown and cream toy camera with a fisheye lens. I've always wanted to experiment with a lomo camera, but it was always a bit pricey. But on a random shopping trip to Urban Outfitters, I was pleased to discover that cameras were on sale; I got a $50 camera for $10!! What a deal! It takes 35mm film, and it felt so odd manually inserting film into a camera-I'm so used to the point and shoot digital cameras! I'm also getting used to the fact that there is no instant gratification- I have to wait to see how the pictures develop! How spoiled have we become :)
I'll be using this camera instead of my other camera for my year-long project ("365 Things I Am Thankful For"). So far I've been taking really random pictures, but I'm so excited/curious to see how they look like with the fisheye look!
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